Probably because this is the first you've heard of it, unless your name is Husband, in which case, you got a very not funny version of it last night...
Ready, I know, the suspense is killing you, what in the world could make you cry to the insurance lady?????
I made a routine appointment to get my teeth cleaned last week (I made the appointment last week, it was scheduled for this morning). I told them I got married and had new insurance and the name of the carrier. The nice man on the other line said I would need to find out which plan I had under that carrier before the appointment because one of them makes you get pre-approved, while the other doesn't... even though the Dentist is "in plan" for both. He was nice, I took him to heart, I made a note to figure that out.
I called at 5 the next day and the carrier's office hours had just finished and Machine woman and I do not get along... she does NOT speak my language. So I thought I'd just call back again.
The next day I forgot -- My bad
Then it was the weekend -- Note to self, our insurance company is not very reachable...
So I made a note to call Monday, the day before my 9 AM, cancel 24 hours before or get charged, appointment.
I got busy
I had LOTS of work to do
I didn't call until 11AM, at which time they told me a completely DIFFERENT carrier had our dental coverage... but I only have the one card? "yes, but you need to call them at 1-800-555-HECK and they'll be able to help you"
OK, Thanks, I must hang up before I forget the number, bye
Dial 1-800-555-HECK, they tell me they can't find my plan (after a good ten minutes of machine woman) because I don't have Husbands SSN memorized and I don't have my group ID number, only I do, I'm looking at my multi-plan insurance card that says I pay $12 a paycheck to have dental coverage and you're telling me none of the numbers work?
I'm sad but I have to go to a meeting, I call the Hubby and ask him to send me the insurance info so I can figure it out, I feel reassured that surely a woman of my intelligence level (like anything higher than a cave woman) can figure it out given the insurance information, but I forget to ask him for his social...
So I call again
I get the same answer, they can't look up my account with out my Husband's social, I get upset I say surely there is another way, I can't call him at work and bug him again and I need this info because my appointment is tomorrow and I can't pay $400 (a number I completely made up, I have no idea if it's really more or less) to get my teeth cleaned and I just don't know what else to do... at this point I'm sobbing to the poor woman who has no idea that I cry at the drop of a pin and she still says she has no other way of finding our mystery plan.
So I give up.
I go back to work, because I also am at work, frustrated, my boss seems to be in a terrible mood, I know this because he usually isn't mean when he's in a bad mood, but today, he's got a 'tude. I work, and work, and work, and then 6:15 comes around and boss man gives me a project... then I work some more, surely I can get this done quick.
But I need a list of names from him to complete it, and he's now onto a new project and in a meeting, so I wait, 7:00 and I've got the list! OK, surely I can get this done soon and get out of here. 7:15 he adds more names to my list -- that I had just finished, 7:30 he leaves.
GREAT! Now I can concentrate and really get this done!
He calls and dictates an email to me...
7:45 and I call the Husband, sobbing again, telling him I'm going to be late, and thinking in my head what a horrible wife I am because he's going to have to wait for dinner, and frustrated again because I'm at work at 8PM which means that IF MARTA is running correctly, It should take 30-40 minutes to get home, but if it's delayed at all... which is basically a constant, I'll be home when I get there and it could be LATE, and we're on BFL so I can't just pick something up, and oh what a horrible wife I am for not making him dinner, and I hate my job because I can't plan anything on a week night because you just never know when Boss man will need/want me to stay till 8PM... and the week has only begun.
Reason number 5 why I love my Husband (that's right, it's a low number b/c it's a big one):
Husband tells me to relax, he'll cook dinner "but I don't even know what we're having!" (in the most mature 3 year old voice possible... because I am alone in an office that the cleaning crew is already done with for the night) Husband says it does not really matter, just text him when I'm leaving and he'll cook dinner
And so I finish up my project, text him at 7:55 that I'm leaving and will be home by 8:30
So I get home, I pour a large glass of wine, hug the Hubs, and thank him for making dinner... because it's not 1950, and he is capable of making a very delicious meal, and he doesn't love me only because I cook for him, and I really need to calm down and not get so frustrated.... marriage is teamwork.
So reason number 5 why I love my Husband? He's cool in my crisis's... the real ones, and the ones that are all in my head.
Thank you Husband
Postscript: I got my teeth cleaned today, turns out our insurance rocks and covered everything but the fluoride treatment, which I got talked into anyway... oh well. However, I still have no clue which plan we're on...
Postscript script: And I do not actually hate my job, it's actually a really great job, I was just throwing myself a giant pity party, because that's what I do when I get frustrated... not angry, just frustrated.